


Stutter of the Heart

by Moonfishh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fukurodani - Freeform, Haikyuu - Freeform, KenAka, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nekoma, Rarepair, They just want peace and quiet, Volleyball, akaken, bokuroo - Freeform, haikyuu rarepair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26946550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonfishh/pseuds/Moonfishh
Summary: It's not the first time Kenma's met with those striking blue eyes. He's seen them before. What's new is the way they make him feel like his heart's tripping over wires and it's like he's lost all control.It's a split second when he realizes. Really it is only a second. One only accepts the love they think they deserve...but surely Kenma Kozume didn't deserve anything good at all.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	1. Caught Glances

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be roughly around 5-6 chapters. I currently don't have an update schedule cause i'm working on another fic and...gulp...I also have exams coming up. But please bare with me <3 I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also sorry if Kenma is a little OCC. I needa speed up the romance somehow~

It felt like a good part of Akaashi’s brain had turned into a finely grounded powder and frankly, the feeling was not the nicest. The only thing running through his mind was a constant static, permeating, as he looked down at the two options in his hands. 

This wasn’t his forte. It never had been. The only thing that made sense to him was the price labels on both the video games. Should he just get the cheaper one? It seemed more suitable. 

Perhaps he should have been a little more investigative about just what type of games Bokuto liked. To rock up on his birthday with an ill-founded gift would only result in the worst of outcomes. 

“You’re my best friend Kaasssshiiii! Aren’t you supposed to know what I like!?”.

It sent a shudder down Akaashis spine just thinking about it. 

He looked up with a sigh, eyes browsing over the electronics store. Apart from a few people milling around, there was no staff to be found. Not that they’d really help him at all, but would rather persuade him to buy the more expensive one with precarious ranting of how the graphics were unbeatable. It would be hard for Akaashi to believe them.

He was nearly on the edge of his patience looking down at the two covers when a low voice spoke behind him.

“You look like you're physically in pain there”.

Akaashi lifted his head and turned to find a head of dyed blonde hair looking at him, expression flat but eyes peaking with interest. 

“Oh, Kenma-san” Akaashi began but paused when Kenma’s face contorted into a sour look. 

“Kenma,” he corrected himself, and the blonde’s face eased back into neutral. 

“It must be hard to remember my disdain for pointless authority when you have to tack san onto Bokuto’s name every day” Kenma mumbled, brushing past him to look at the shelf of video games Akaashi had been standing in front of. 

Something said like that could easily be read into an insult. But Akaashi knew to think better. 

“It’s more of my thing than his. I can’t help it” Akaashi shrugged a shoulder, meekly. 

“So it’s not because it makes him happy?” Kenma inclined his head to look over his shoulder with an eyebrow cocked.

“And also it makes him happy,” Akaashi admitted with a small smile.

“Hmm” Kenma turned back to browsing the shelf. “Is that why you’re here now? Buying something for him”.

Akaashi’s brain did a record scratch as he remembered the two cases held in his hands. He looked down at them with a new refound despisal.

“I…” he trailed off. “Seem to be having trouble”.

“What kind of games has he played before?” Kenma turned around, inquisitive eyes scouring over the two choices in Akaashi’s hands. One was an adventure game, dragons flying across the cover. The other was a cooking game with two chefs holding platters of sparkling onigiri. 

Akaashi tried to pretend that wasn’t what drew him to the game in the first place. 

“I believe he played animal crossing for a week. All he ended up doing was hitting his villagers with a net before declaring it was boring” Akaashi’s eyebrows pinched inwards.

“So pick something with action” Kenma tapped the adventure game.

Akaashi blinked once, twice, before laying down the cooking game. That had obviously been the best of the two. Why had he been in such doubt?

Raising his head, he was ready to thank Kenma but found him already wandering down the shelves, crouching to get a better look at the bottom rows.

If he thought back on it, Kenma had never talked so much at once before to Akaashi. He could blame that on their past experiences. 

They had both only seen each other during practice games and the odd times that Bokuto and Kuroo had bumped into each other. Kenma would only give him a small nod and a “hi” before ducking his head to return to the world on his handheld console. 

Even at the last training camp, it had only been gestures of mutual respect after one of their teams won or upon seeing each other in the halls. Akaashi had decided a long time ago that he liked Kenma. He didn’t speak without reason to break a comfortable silence. A silence that Akaashi loved to relish in. 

Akaashi looked back over to Kenma, surveyed the way his eyes lit up with excitement upon seeing a particular game, exchanging it for the game previously tucked under his arm.

Perhaps Kenma just found himself being more comfortable in his element. 

Akaashi allowed himself to look for a few more seconds before turning and making his way to the counter. Hopefully, there’d be no whining Bokuto come tomorrow day.

~~~

“Akaaaashiiii!” Bokuto let out a low whining sound. 

“Bokuto-sannnnn” Akaashi parroted.

“You have to do it! It’s my birthday!” Bokuto tugged at the sleeve of Akaashi’s jacket. The very same jacket he was trying very hard to put on at the front door. 

While giving Bokuto his gift had gone well, he had perhaps been a bit hasty in the forgoing of whining and pleading.

“Please!!! I already promised Kuroo that we would play a two on two volleyball match! He’s waiting in the park like right now” Bokuto reluctantly let go of Akaashi’s sleeve to fall back onto the floor. 

Akaashi looked down at him with his pleading eyes. He had already stayed the majority of the day. It couldn't hurt to finish up the afternoon on a happy note, dare he had to deal with a held onto grudge from Bokuto at the next practice. 

“The retirement age should be turned to seventeen” Akaashi muttered, zipping up his jacket.

“Is that a yes?” Bokuto sat up on his knees. 

In no way could that have been read as a yes, but Akaashi gave in. 

“Come on, we don’t want to be late to meet pain in the ass Kuroo-san in the park” he rolled his eyes. 

With a victory whoop, Bokuto was on his feet and rushing to grab his own jacket. Akaashi couldn’t help but let himself smile a little.

Perhaps he indulged Bokuto a little too much. But it was never not worth it to see his smile. The energy he radiated was almost contagious.

“Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou Akaashi! I’ll buy you all the Karashi-ae at lunch tomorrow. With however much mustard dressing you want!” Bokuto cheered as he passed Akaashi out the door. 

Akaashi snickered into the back of his palm.

Yep, definitely contagious.

~~~

September was a month of Autumn and the days started to fall by as fast as the leaves fell from the trees. Today was a lucky day with the sun still out and brilliant in the sky with more of a lack of clouds than usual. 

The park was awash with the multi coloured offerings and the few people that were out and about were hurrying past in light sweaters and coats, flapping in the small breeze. 

Bokuto walked past beside him, shoes crunching purposefully against a spotted crisp looking leaf. The sound rang steadily in Akaashis ears as he observed the scarlets and golds playing against the soft light and colours of the afternoon sky. 

“Man it’s kinda cold” Bokuto groaned, shoving his balled-up fists into his coat. 

“You’ll want to take off that coat once you start playing,” Akaashi noted.

“Oh! I hope Kuroo and Kenma brought a volleyball. That totally slipped my mind!” Bokuto slapped a hand against his forehead in apparent foolishness. 

“Kenma?” Akaashi raised his eyebrows. 

Of course, Kenma would be coming. Why wouldn't he? The two were almost as much as an inseparable pair as Bokuto and himself. Perhaps even more since they were childhood friends.

“Yea, you know. Kenma Kenma!” Bokuto waved his hands around. He seemed to have taken Akaashis musing as him forgetting who the Nekoma setter was. 

As if on cue, their path entered a large opening with basketball and volleyball court on either side. Ahead of them stood the duo.

Kuroo noticed them and immediately began waving an arm over his head. Kenma didn’t bother looking up from his console even when Bokuto ran and tackled Kuroo into a massive hug that almost sent them tumbling to the ground. 

Akaashi finally caught up, approaching the group. Kenma looked up just in time to catch his eye and immediately dropped his head again, hair falling back around his face and out of view. 

“Jeez, be careful next time you moron. You almost killed the baby” Kuroo complained, pulling back from Bokuto to reveal a bump under the creases of his t-shirt. 

“What!? B-bro, Is it mine” Bokuto gasped, crouching down to rub the obvious volleyball squeezed tightly under the fabric to fit. 

“Your gosh dang right it is. I'm expecting that child support by Monday. It’s my gateway out of this small town” Kuroo propped a hand on his hip.

With such tenderness, he leaned his ear to Kuroo's stomach.  
“I hear it kicking” Bokuto wiped a deceptive fake tear from his eye with a smile.

With the delicacy of a sledgehammer, Kenma brought up his hand and slapped the top of the ball so that it fell through the bottom of the shirt. It bounced a few pitiful times before rolling away.

“Okay well, now it’s definitely dead” Kuroo clicked his tongue.

“And also an inanimate object” Kenmas eyes flickered up to him briefly, voice dull.

Kuroo only smirked knowingly, as if this were normal behaviour. Perhaps it was. Kenma was a mystery to Akaashi, the same way a dolphin was to walking on land. 

“Well come on let’s get into it before the next ice age takes us” Kuroo picked up the stray volleyball, tucking it beneath his arm.

“Dude!” Bokuto threw an arm around Kuroo’s shoulder. “I was watching this game the other day and hear me out, receiving with your ass cheeks-” their voices trailed away as they walked towards the court. 

It left Akaashi and Kenma standing there. Kenma let out a small sigh before letting his console fall into his pocket. For the first time, he looked up and held eye contact with Akaashi for more than a split second.

His eyes were a rich, bright gold. Brighter than any autumn leaf. They were intense and soft all at the same time, pining Akaashi to the spot with his stare.

“So. How was the game?” Kenma asked.

“Huh?”. The question seemed to catch him off guard.

“The gift for Bokuto” Kenma reminded him.

“Oh”. Akaashi wanted to hit himself for something so obvious flying past his head. “I forgot to thank you the other day for the commendable choice. You have very good taste, Kenma". 

Kenma blinked up at Akaashi before his mouth gave way to a slight smile. He looked slightly bashful. 

“That’s...okay” he turned away, hair hiding his face once again.

And something weird seemed to happen, because at that exact moment...Akaashi’s heart stuttered. 

His mouth dropped open to reply if not just gape a little. But luckily he was saved from replying and possibly choking over his words.

“Akaashi, Kenma! Get over here before the birthday boy throws a fit!” Kuroo called out, gaining their attention. 

“I wasn’t gonna throw a fit! I was just saying it’s gonna get dark soon!” Bokuto replied, scornfully

Akaashi turned his head just in time to miss Bokuto lobbing the ball at Kuroo's head. His eyes flickered to Kenma’s face and surprisingly found him looking back. 

With a lackluster of words, he pointed at the court.

“We better…uh” he trailed off.

“Yea” Kenma agreed with a sigh. 

~~~

Despite the chill running down his arms between plays, volleyball had started and had continued being a success. With two people it had been more of an effort, but fun nonetheless. 

Though it didn’t help that just maybe Akaashi’s eyes were a little more focused on Kenma and his playstyle than the actual ball. Who could blame him? His brain was analytical, eyes narrowing down with thought and his sets were acutely well-timed.

Despite all the passed off sighs, Kenma seemed to be having a good time. Akaashi even managed at one time to spot Kenma smirk at him after a setter dump that fell right past his head. It made his heart beat harder, thrumming in his ears as he went to chase after the ball. 

It had just been a specifically good play by Kenmas set and Kuroos delayed spike that had Bokuto crumpling to the ground.

“AwwwwwgHHHHHHH!” Bokuto fell to his knees, pounding a fist into the dry dirt of the court. 

“Hahaha!!!’ Kuroo raised his arms above his head, pumping his fists. 

“Come on Bokuto-san, we need to stay calm here” Akaashi wiped away the sweat beading on his forehead. Their team was only down by three points, but it was enough to have Bokuto fretting.

“I am calm!” Bokuto looked up from the ground, eyes watering around the edges. 

“You’re obviously anything but” Akaashi sighed, crouching down in front of him.

“It’s just hayfever,” Bokuto exclaimed, pulling himself onto his knees.

“Bokuto-” Akaashi began, but then something terrible happened.

At the very same time Akaashi opened his mouth, Bokuto let out a large sneeze. There was a moment of silence and then Akaashi slowly closed his mouth as Bokuto's eyes widened. 

Briefly, there was a flicker of fear and regret in Bokuto’s eyes and murder attempt was flashing through Akaashi’s brain.

But all of that broke when suddenly there was a small laughing noise. Akaashi and everyone's heads whipped around to find Kenma holding both hands to his mouth.

“Bahahaha!” Kenma guffawed, giggling behind his palm. The sound was low, soothing, and sweet with a lilt at the end of each one before he had to suck in a new breath. 

If Akaashi was surprised, Kuroo seemed to be even more surprised before his face contorted into a shit-eating smirk. 

“Aww is Kozume laughing?” Kuroo teased, poking at Kenma’s stomach. If anything could end his laughter, it was that. Immediately the giggling cut off. 

Kenma seemed to have a moment of self-realization at what he’d done and slapped Kuroo’s hands away. His face was heated and scrawled with red as he quickly ducked under the net and went after the ball that had landed far away after the last play. 

They all watched as he walked away with his hand shoved in his pockets. Then Akaashi looked towards Bokuto who promptly shoved a guilty smile on his face. 

“Sorry?”. 

Akaashi pushed at Bokuto’s chest before standing up and using the back of his sleeve to wipe at his tongue. That action was quickly followed by Kuroos snickers. A quick glare shut up him up pretty fast. 

“I can’t believe Kenma laughed!” Bokuto gawked, pulling himself to his feet.

“Yea” Kuroo ducked under the net. “He hasn’t laughed that hard since Lev accidentally locked himself in the storeroom”. 

“Wow” Bokuto blinked.

“Don’t worry. Kenma’s not mean, he helped him get out” Kuroo grinned.

“Oh look he’s coming back” Bokuto pointed out, and they all watched as Kenma bent down to collect the ball and turn their way.

“I think this game is over. Bokuto go get your stuff” Akaashi pushed both of them away. 

There seemed to be no complaints as the two walked off, jumping onto a whole new conversation about the cat Bokuto had been unsuccessfully trying to lure home. 

Akaashi suddenly realized he had nothing to gather and quickly shoved his hands in his pockets. He pretended to be looking anywhere but the setter who was walking back over.

“Okay, you can stop with the act. It was just a laugh” Kenma muttered, approaching Akaashi. 

“Of course. I know that” Akaashi nodded. “I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable”. 

At that, Kenma’s shoulders seemed to unwind a little from their stiffness. He didn’t reply but instead gently pushed the ball into Akaashi’s arms before wandering off to gather his jacket.

Akaashi’s eyes followed Kenma walking away, feeling slightly disheartened. But that quickly dissipated as Kenma grabbed his jacket front the ground and then began his way back to Akaashi.

“I’m assuming the games over now?” Kenma mumbled, pulling the console from his jacket. 

“You’d be right” Akaashi gazed past Kenma to send a narrow-eyed look at Bokuto, who flinched and ran behind Kuroo. 

“It’s getting dark” Kenma looked behind his shoulder at the path and then back to Akaashi.

“Aren’t cats supposed to be able to see at night?” Akaashi teased. 

“Yea and that would really suck for you if you were to be left behind. All alone. In the dark” Kenma cocked an eyebrow playfully at him.

“I guess I better shut up then” Akaashi smiled and the two of them set off down the path, followed by Bokuto and Kuroo at a slower pace. 

It was only a few minutes to walk out of the park but Akaashi soon grew bored of the fading light and dancing shadows. He couldn’t help the pull of his eyes that always seemed to land on the game in Kenma’s hands.

Kenma being Kenma seemed to notice without his eyes tearing away from the screen. 

“It’s Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild” Kenma told him.

“Hmm, looks fun” Akaashi commented, watching Kenma’s player run and jump over a crumbling stone wall.

“How did Bokuto like the game?” Kenma asked, voice soft for someone who was now killing creatures brutally with a sword. 

“He had a hard time...In fact, I had a hard time too. I just couldn’t seem to get past the first level” Akaashi shook his head with dismay. 

“Well,” Kenma paused his game. “I could teach you”.

“Teach me?” Akaashi raised his eyebrows and he came to stop on the footpath.

Under the now dark sky and lamp shadows, Kenma’s face looked a little shy and vulnerable. 

“ I don’t think I have enough patience to deal with Bokuto. But perhaps if I taught you...you could y’know...teach him” Kenma fiddled with the edges of his console, looking wary.

“Okay” Akaashi agreed, and Kenma’s eyes flickered to his face with surprise. For whatever reason.

“Oh,” Kenma mouthed. 

“Here” Akaashi patted at his pockets and brought out his phone. Opening it to contacts he passed it over to Kenma who took it with a bit of hesitance.

“That way we can text each other” Akaashi smiled. “Y’know to set up a date". "-And time” he quickly added on. “Date and time to meet up”.

“I got that much,” Kenma snorted, fingers falling over the keyboard as he typed in his number. Politely he returned it and Akaashi pocketed it.

Suddenly loud laughter rang from behind them as Kuroo and Bokuto managed to catch up to them.

“Oh, yea this is where we go separate ways” Bokuto pouted, jutting out his bottom lip.

“Are you ready to go, kitten?” Kuroo grinned at Kenma. 

Kenma tucked away his console before walking off to Kuroo’s side. Bokuto threw himself in for one last hug with Kuroo, Kuroo gave the finger guns to Akaashi, and then they were walking away.

But not before Kenma turned around and gave Akaashi the smallest of smiles and a faint wave.  
Akaashi nearly hit himself in the face with how eager he was to wave back. 

Apparently, without his knowledge, he had somehow lost control of all of his functioning. Smiles were pulled onto his face without real purpose, and his actions seemed to have double the meaning in front of Kenma.

But it was fun. Real fun...He was glad there was going to be a next time.

“Hey Kaashi, you ready to go?” Bokuto tugged at his wrist.

“Yea...let’s go” Akaashi nodded, shaking his mind of previous thoughts.

The two of them started walking off down the lit sidewalk, Bokuto skipping in front of him.

“Hey so I was watching this game earlier and there’s the type of receive I wanna tr-”.

“Absolutely not ”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hollyyyy fuck do you know hard it is to try not to make any bokuaka scenes romantic because I wanna push the whole Akaken thing. I’m so scared people will be like Akaashi Bokuto Kenma love triangle, question mark?
> 
> I’ll use a spray bottle on anyone who romances Bokuto and Akaashi in this story, mainly including myself. I gotta beat back my writing hand and make them complete bros with no homos.


	2. Oh Laughable Envy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma has strong feelings in a lot of departments.

It was a quiet walk for once. Silence usually replaced with video game sound effects was left to rest as Kenma walked with his hands in his pockets.

The pure black night blanketed over the sky, bringing a sort of comfort. The air smelled earthy and the closing in of black and grey clouds over the stars could only be the signal of looming rain. 

Kenma stared lazily at the smudgy illumination of the lamp posts lights. He listened to the occasional income of a car's engine, the air brush against his legs as it passed, and then faded off into the distance. 

He felt more lackluster than usual, exhausted after their volleyball game and the depleted hours of sleep he had gotten the night beforehand. He was content to just walk at Kuroo’s side, enjoying the comfort of silence. 

Kuroo was the first one to speak. Unfortunately. 

“You’re quiet” he mentioned, casually staring ahead.

“I’m always quiet,” Kenma pointed out. 

“Console run out of power?” Kuroo’s eyebrow lifted as he turned to look at Kenma.

“Nope”.

“Hm. Weird” Kuroo hummed. 

Kenma scrunched his eyebrows together, feeling the annoyance start to edge over the fatigue. 

“I was just thinking perhaps you were a little more worn out today? Perhaps a little more social interaction than usual? Perhaps with a Fukurodani setter?” Kuroo’s smirk was a slow build, crawling higher onto his face. 

Kenma’s hands itched for the weight of a PSP in his hands. 

“You really like to muse on the little things don’t you?” Kenma’s mouth twisted in a way that told him ‘you’re being more annoying than usual, stop being so annoying’.

Kuroo should know that face very well, yet he chose to ignore it.

“I’m just glad you're making friends. Akaashi seemed to be staring at you for a good amount during the game” Kuroo mentioned offhandedly, shrugging his shoulders.

“He was?” Kenma asked, interest slightly peaked. 

Kuroo’s eyes flickered back to him, inquisitive. The smirk doubled. 

“I might be going crazy but it looked like you were staring back just as much” Kuroo suggested.

“You’re right, you are crazy” Kenma muttered and finally he gave in and reached for the console in his pocket, starting up the game he had been playing earlier.

“Right” Kuroo smiled and he faced forward again, staring off into the distance. “Crazy” he repeated with a low chuckle. 

~~~

By the time they arrived at their neighboring houses, it was a little later than expected. Rejecting Kuroo’s offer to come over for dinner he made his way into his house.

After wandering up to his room after a meal he hardly touched, he flopped down onto his bed, textbooks laid beside him.

But before his fingertips could even graze the first page of his homework, his phone gave a buzz from on his desk. Opening it, the only feeling he could describe was surprised at seeing a text from someone other than Hinata and or Kuroo so late at night.

(0X-XXXX-XXXX):

Hi Kenma, it’s Akaashi. Feel free to save the number to your phone.  
I was thinking of your offer and thought that perhaps this upcoming Wednesday might be free for you as it is for me? Sorry for such a long message. 

Kenma’s surprise quickly morphed into something he couldn’t label. A feeling of sickness and elation sprang to his chest if not only for a surpassing second. 

Before anything, he saved the number in his phone under the name of Keiji. It was only when he had created the contact did he ask himself when he had learned Akaashi's first name.

Between the casual passings in the halls and training practice, he must have picked it up. Maybe from Bokuto and his incessant shouting on the court. 

Why did he have to overthink these things anyway?

Shaking his head and he typed out a quick reply.

Kozume:  
Works 4 me. Also, I saved your name under Keiji if that’s ok?

Kenma sent the message and laid down his phone. His homework could be whacked out in only an hour, maybe less if he tried hard enoug-

The vibration of his phone cut off any thoughts on starting his homework. Reaching for his phone again, he saw a message from Akaashi. 

Keiji:  
I think Bokuto named your contact because at the moment it's Nekoma's sidekick

Kozume:  
Nekoma's sidekick? Plz, if anything that’s Kuroo. 

Keiji:  
I believe it was supposed to be Nekomas setter, but it autocorrected. Kuroo is definitely the sidekick or hopefully the one that dies first in a horror movie?

His lips curled into a smile. Kenma liked the way Akaashi thought.

Kozume:  
I’m not sure if his character fits the typical screaming white girl type to be killed first

Keiji:  
I’ll make sure he gets killed first. He laughed at Bokuto sneezing in my mouth today…

Kozume:  
2 b fair I also laughed. 

Like a lot

Keiji:  
Oh then maybe it’s just my subconscious thoughts rather than anything he’s done. 

Kozume:  
Scary

Keiji:  
Let’s not act like you haven’t thought of murdering him at least every week

Kenma:  
Try once a day. 

Keiji:  
Once a day?

Kozume:  
All hypothetical of course

Keiji:  
Of course

Kozume:  
Perhaps it won’t be hypothetical next time he laughs when I try 2 help Lev out of a locked storage room only 2 get locked in myself

Keiji:  
Sorry Kenma, now it’s my turn to laugh 

Kozume:  
It’s fine. When it’s u it doesn’t feel like I need to beat u with a stick

Keiji:  
Are we back on Kuroo again?

Kozume:  
How could you tell

Keiji:  
The last time he and Bokuto were together, they stuck the nozzle of a whipped cream can down the back of my shirt

Kozume: Maybe you deserved it?

Keiji: Wow, please apologize before my therapist knows your name

Kenma let out a snicker behind his hand before realizing he had positioned himself lying on his stomach across the bed, textbook fallen to the floor and long forgotten. 

He hadn't thought to care as his phone vibrated again, pulling his attention back. The message earned another smile and he found himself eager to text back.

This went on for an hour before Akaashi excused himself with having to wake up early for training tomorrow morning. Kenma couldn’t relate to that. 

He could probably do his homework, go to sleep...or he could dick around for the next 4 hours on this new game Kuroo had suggested recently. 

Kenma chucked his phone back on the desk before dragging his laptop onto his bed and settling in for a long night. But deep down his chest, he felt satisfied if not a little bit excited for Wednesday to come. 

He hadn’t felt this type of way in a long time. Perhaps too long. 

If only he could figure out just what it was that he felt….

~~~

By Wednesday the weather hadn’t let up at all. The sky lay solemn, grey, and black clouds curdling over a once clear sky.

It was much to Kenmas irritation that he found himself walking with the light pattering of rain soaking into the folds of his hoodie in the afternoon after school. 

Scrunching his nose, he pulled up his hood and adjusted the bag on his back. While his clothes might get soaked, he wasn't willing for his console and games to get destroyed by water damage.

Beside him, Kuroo walked, his bag held over his head. It wasn’t doing much for coverage.

“Why can’t we just run home?” Kuroo sniffed, using his pouty voice. 

“I don’t run when I don’t need to” Kenma brushed a few damp strands away from his cheek. 

“You’re not calling this a need???” Kuroo sidestepped a particularly large puddle on the sidewalk. 

“It’s only spitting, Kuro” Kenma rubbed at his nose when he felt an oncoming sneeze. 

Be damned if he let it out, dare Kuroo to call it the last straw, throw him over his shoulder and start running before he caught a cold. 

“Home is ten minutes away. We can get there in five if we just-”.

“I’m not going home” Kenma interjected.

Kuroo’s eyebrows raised precariously high on his face. 

“Ohoho, got a date?” he joked.

“No”.

“Then where are you going...” Kuroo frowned, confused. 

“Just... Not home” Kenma shrugged his shoulders.

“Kenma”. A crease formed on his forehead. 

“What?” Kenma's head snapped up to look at him. “I can’t go anywhere without informing you of my location, every footstep?” he accused, voice low and warning. 

Kuroo looked taken aback for a second.

“It’s not that,” he retorted. “It’s just pouring with rain and I don’t want to be the second to hear that your body washed up under a bridge” Kuroo scowled.

The rain started to pour harder. The droplets felt heavy and cold as they leaked down his face.

“You don’t always have to be so protective of me. I don’t always need you” Kenma muttered.

“Y’know what, fine. Walk by yourself for all I care” Kuroo clicked his tongue.

Kenma had a split moment of regret as he watched Kuroo walk away, doubling his stride with such long legs. He probably always walked slower just for Kenma. Because Kenma was selfish like that.

An uncomfortable feeling wedged itself in his chest as he watched Kuroo’s back, disappearing off into the distance. 

It was whatever. Kenma was his own person goddammit. He could do whatever he wanted, and at the moment, he wanted to go to Akaashis. So what if Kenma didn’t want to tell Kuroo just to be prodded and teased for his own personal enjoyment. 

Picking up the pace he hurried along the wet sidewalk. A few minutes later he spotted the unfamiliar but soon to be familiar house. 

It wasn’t without nerves that he stood at the front step, knocking on the door. That could be counted as normal though. Even the smallest hint at complicated social interaction sometimes triggered the worst in him. That’s why he always had Kuroo around. It was easy having a buffer who liked the sound of his voice so much.

But thinking of Kuroo hurt right now. 

When the door opened, it revealed Akaashi. He was dressed in a loose shirt and pants, messy black curls framing his face. Somehow he looked better in casual clothes than Kenma would ever admit to noticing. 

“Kenma, come in” Akaashi smiled gently and pulled the door back in welcome.

Kenma felt his chest do some type of fluttering thing as he stepped past him. Heart failure? Perhaps his irrational 2-minute noodle diet was finally catching up with him. 

“Thanks” Kenma stood on the back of his shoes, kicking them lazily off to the side of the genkan.

“The living room is just this w-”

“WHAT! NO WAY! THAT CAN’T… -NO WAY”. A loud yelling interrupted Akaashi, sounding from the living room. 

Kenma’s eyebrows raised in question as he turned to look at him. Akaashi’s eyes flinched and his face was written over in faint guilt. 

“Bokuto-san may have invited himself over…” Akaashi bit his lip. “Said he wanted to learn the game at the same time too”.

“How bothersome” Kenma sighed, brushing the hood away from his head.

“I understand if you don’t want to stick around. He can be very…”.

“This is stupiiiiiid. Akaashi! Where did you go? I can’t complete this level” Bokuto’s whining poured into the halls.

Kenma’s shoulders stiffened even more.

It wasn’t that he hated Bokuto. No definitely not. It was just that the energy others found contagious usually wore him out and or forced him to talk way more than he preferred. 

Not to mention that patience ran short. Not only his, but Bokuto’s too. That didn’t always mix well. 

A weak smile from Akaashi had him turning away the thought of ever relenting and leaving. 

“It’s fine. I can teach two people” Kenma mumbled.

Akaashi seemed to let the tension out of his body as he sighed. With a soft hand motion, he gestured for Kenma to follow him through the halls.

“Kenma, you’re finally here!”, Bokuto whipped his head to look over the couch. “Akaashi was pacing back and forth for ages. He kept looking out the window and everything” he laughed.

“Pay him no mind” Akaashi’s eye twitched if not only momentarily. 

Kenma followed after him as Akaashi fell back onto the couch. The back of his hand hit the middle of Bokuto’s chest, eliciting a large oof. 

“What was that for!?” Bokuto exclaimed.

“Whoops, sorry” Akaashi tucked a dark curl behind his ear. 

Kenma kneeled on the ground in front of the TV to hook in his play system, setting up the game that Bokuto more than enthusiastically rushed to get him. 

“This is gonna be awesome!” Bokuto smiled, wide and bright.

....

It was not awesome. 

An hour later Bokuto had his hands on his face and Kenma was becoming more and more agitated. They ought to redesign the cover of the game. “Ages not suitable for 13 below, and Bokuto Koutarou”.

“I don’t get it...” Bokuto frowned, pulling his bottom lip to tug between his teeth.

“That’s because you're rushing into it” Kenma frowned back. “Try not to be impatient and concentrate more”. 

“I am concentrating,” Bokuto rubbed at his eyes, tiredly.

“No, play more like Akaashi does” Kenma jerked a thumb back at Akaashi. He was sitting on the couch, eyes narrowed in concentration as he looked at the screen.

But when he realized Kenma addressed him, his eyes widened in surprise. 

“Oh, here Bokuto, let me show you” Akaashi was quick to rescue Kenma and take the controller from him. 

Kenma huffed a sigh. Pulling himself up from the floor he slumped onto the couch on Akaashi’s left. He watched with a throbbing headache as Akaashi leaned in close to Bokuto, pointing at the buttons on the controller. 

They were so close to each other, probably breathing in the same breath. Kenma saw as Bokuto's hand brushed against Akaashi’s as he pointed at something else.

A sudden feeling of annoyance struck him. 

It only grew when he saw Bokuto light up in realization, smiling, and then throwing an arm around Akaashi’s shoulder to bring him in close with a warm side hug. What made his chest ache more was when he saw Akaashi weakly smile back, letting himself be pulled in close. 

Kenma told himself it was because of the fight with Kuroo that was making him feel a little more envious for such easy comfort. 

But still, another strong feeling was pulling in his chest. It lay deep down below the others and it was tugging relentlessly.

With a sigh heavier than the last one, he allowed his head to roll back and rest against the couch. Exhaustion must have overtaken him because before he knew what was happening, he was falling asleep. 

…

Kenma felt a presence, but couldn't place who it was. It felt warm like he had stepped outside to find the warmth of the sun shining across his face. A brief brush of a hand lingered before settling on his shoulder.

Kenma felt the grip on his shoulder abruptly tighten with a painful jolt. Kenma tried to open his mouth to cry out but found himself in a silent scream. Everything felt cold now like there was rain falling on his face.

The coldness swept his body up like he was sitting in a dark freezing room. The hand let go, but he was still unable to move, feeling like he was stuck sitting on the hard floor. 

“I don’t need you”. Kenma couldn’t figure out who’s whispering voice it was. It felt so close, right by his ear. He scrambled to try clamp his hands over his ears, curl in on himself. 

It was all too much. He couldn’t breathe, the air wasn’t making it into his lungs. It felt like he was going to die. Like he was drowni-

Kenma jolted awake, fighting to remember how to breathe. 

For several disorientating seconds, he couldn’t recognize where he was. His stomach knotted and he struggled into an upright position, grasping for a hold of his surroundings. 

He recognized Akaashi’s living room in the dim light of the afternoon coming through the window.

His heart continued stuttering as he fought for breath, eyes turning to look down at the couch on which he had fallen asleep. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, trying to stop himself from shaking in the empty room. 

Why the hell had it been so cold and why hadn’t he been able to breathe?

He felt vulnerable like he was a little kid again. The nausea was pressing hard against his throat and he couldn’t swallow it down or-

“Kenma?” Akaashi’s soft voice broke through his thoughts.

Slowly raising his head from his arms, he looked up to find Akaashi suddenly kneeling in front of him, eyes wide and surprised. Mostly they harbored worry.

Kenma’s chest heaved, voice quivered. Tears were falling silently down his face. 

“Akaashi” he managed to choke out. 

Suddenly Akaashi was sitting next to him on the couch, pulling him into a hug. Kenma leaned his face into his shoulder, breathing still shaky and uneven as Akaashi rubbed his back in soothing circles. The contact eased him a little.

It felt nice.

Finally, he found the panic starting to recede as he hid his face in Akaashi’s shoulder which was probably wet with his tears. 

This was so embarrassing. He was being so vulnerable. But still, Akaashi was a nice, calm presence and something to hold onto. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay” Akaashi muttered over and over again until Kenma’s heartbeat settled once again.

Kenma's chest swelled with overwhelming affection, although he didn't know where it had come from. 

After a few minutes his head was pulsing and his throat felt thick, but that awful pressure at the back of his throat was finally gone. 

“Thank you” he mumbled, pulling back his head to wipe at his eyes.

So embarrassing...

“That’s okay”. Akaashi’s hand fell away and he missed it. “Do you want to talk about it?”.

Slowly he shook his head.  
“Was just a nightmare”.

“Sorry I didn’t wake you up. I was just saying goodbye to Bokuto at the door and when I came back…” Akaashi trailed off.

"It's fine. Really” Kenmas voice was at least back to normal. 

“Okay. Are you feeling better now?” Akaashi asked. 

Kenma had a moment of self-assessment. Was he okay? Akaashi took the moment of silence as an answer.

“Do you want to play more video games?” he pointed to the console. “I think I’ve got the hang of it now”.

Kenma nodded softly and Akaashi went to go fetch the controllers. 

~~~

It was another hour before it started getting quite late and Kenma had something that had been sitting on his mind for a while now. A few things actually. 

“I think I should get going now” Kenma set down his controller. 

“You’re not being a burden?” Akaashi raised an eyebrow in question. 

“No, but I think I have someone to go apologize to” Kenma sighed and he began to pack up his console. 

Akaashi looked on in confusion but nodded nonetheless.

“Well... thank you for coming and sorry Bokuto randomly showed up. I think I saw you getting a headache towards the end there.”.

“I was hoping it would be just us, but it wasn’t too bad”.

“Okay, just know that you’re welcome over here anytime” Akaashi smiled softly and he led them out of the living room and into the hallway.

“Anytime?” Kenma mused over the words in question.

“Believe it or not Kenma, but I like your presence very much” Akaashi chuckled as they reached the door. 

“You want to hang out with me again after I just sobbed into your shoulder…” Kenma looked at him, unbelieving. “That was by far the most mortifying thing in my life to happen".

“I thought you looked rather cute beforehand. You fell asleep on my shoulder”.

“That’s even worse,” Kenma interjected, a scrawling hot heat crawling up the back of his neck. 

“Some things are just made to disagree on” Akaashi smiled with a hint of cheekiness.

Kenma was quick to duck his head and slide on his shoes. He needed to get out now before he spontaneously combusted. 

“Well, I'll be off now” Kenma mumbled, opening the door. 

“Bye Kenma, and don’t worry, I won’t tell Kuroo you were over here” Akaashi leaned his shoulder in the doorway. “I know how he likes to worry”.

Kenma’s eyes widened as he asked himself how Akaashi would even know about something like that in the first place. 

The pulling feeling was back stronger than ever. 

“Right” Kenma nodded appreciatively. “Goodbye”. 

He abruptly turned on his heel and set off the footpath, not daring to look behind him. Quickly he hurried home just as the sky was merging into night, the last streaks of fiery orange disappearing into black. 

At least it had stopped raining. 

~~~

By the time he reached his neighborhood, it was well dark. But instead of making his way to his house, he continued till he was standing in front of Kuroo’s door.

One familiar welcome from Kuroo’s mother had him stepping up the stairs and standing in front of his best friend's room. 

That dream he had was obviously to do with their fight from earlier on. But before he apologized, he had something else to do. 

He took a deep breath before knocking twice, lightly. A few seconds later the door was swinging open. Kuroo stood there, hair a ruffled black mess and wearing an old worn shirt. His face was full of confusion.

“Kenma what are you doing he-”

“I like Akaashi Keiji” Kenma was quick to cut him off.

There was a moment of silence. Kuroo’s expression slowly morphed into shock.

...

The pulling feel had been too strong to ignore. Against his best wishes, he decided to call it what it was.

….

A crush.


	3. Heart's a mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is even more vulnerable, but for a good reason.

“So wait let me get this correct. You cried in his arms and now you’re...into him” Kuroo pondered

“Well don’t say it like that,” Kenma chided with a frown, shoving Kuroo’s arm when his face decided to sport a large uncontainable grin.

Both of them were situated in Kuroo’s room. 

Kenma was rubbing his socked feet together on the bed while Kuroo leaned against the headboard, tucking his hands behind his head. 

Outside the rain had picked back up and it fell against the window in light pattering against a dark night sky.

“So then…. what is it like if not that?” Kuroo looked at him expectantly.

“It had nothing to do with me crying” Kenma narrowed his eyes at him.

“What? I don’t know what you’re into these day- oofgh”. Kuroo doubled over as Kenma elbowed him in the ribs.

“Don’t be a dick” Kenma scrunched his nose in disgust.

“Fine. Okay, so you like Akaashi. Good for you. Ask him out” Kuroo grumbled and he rubbed at his newfound injury with more than a hint of dramatization.

“Have you ever had a crush before?” Kenma raised his eyebrows with sarcasm. “I’m not doing that”.

“I have!” Kuroo’s face blossomed into red over his cheeks. 

His eyes darted away to the floor and his arms dropped into a defying fold across his chest.

Oh god, he probably had a crush right now, and Kenma was going to have to hear all about it in the near future.

He rolled his eyes until Kuroo stopped half pouting.

“But I know you haven’t!” Kuroo clicked his tongue, eyes looking back into Kenmas. “So why don’t you take it from someone who actually has experience”.

“Y-”.

“And no more snarky comments or I’m not going to help you at all,” Kuroo pointed at Kenma, interrupting him with his mouth still hanging open.

Kenma snapped his jaw shut, eyes suddenly becoming interested with the pattern of the duvet underneath him.

“I know that’s what you want... Help” Kuroo blinked at him.

Kenma raised his head and was met with a pair of hazel eyes awash with a sort of understanding. Something softer. Something not joking.

Kenma pressed his lips together.

“Please” he grumbled out the side of his mouth, like it would kill him to ask.

“Okay” Kuroo seemed satisfied enough and leaned forward, the bed creaking underneath his weight. “I have two options for you”.

“Two?” Kenma mused, eyes darting up to look at him.

“Number one,” Kuroo stuck out a long finger. “We have a short training camp coming up with our school, Fukurodani, and Shizen at Saitama for two days of friendly practice games”.

“And…” Kenma scratched at his cheek, meekly.

“Well from the sounds of your story you sounded jealous of Bokuto. What if it perhaps...I don’t know” Kuroo rolled his wrist. “Worked the other way”.

“Worked the other…” Kenma repeated, and his eyes shot open. “You mean-”.

“We pretend to be all coupley at the camp. Make Akaashi jealous” Kuroo’s eyes crinkled with a smug smile.

Kenma wanted to slap the look off his face. Though, he shouldn’t hit his friend twice in the span of five minutes lest he got accused of abuse. 

But god he wanted to.

“I’m not going to-”.

“Remember no snark!” Kuroo pointed at him and Kenma bit down on his tongue, sporting a sour look.

“Feeling jealous was terrible. I would never want to wish that on anybody” Kenma’s mouth twisted to the side. “It was all like”.

He raised his hands above his stomach, wiggling his fingers.

“God it’s like you only experience one emotion a week” Kuroo huffed a laugh.

“Shut up,” Kenma told him. “I’ve been jealous before. Just not a lot. What is envy worth taking on anyways”.

“You tell me since your eyes were the ones doing the glaring. Poor Bokuto didn’t deserve it that bad” Kuroo nudged Kenma’s arm.

…

“It felt like my stomach was a hot pit” Kenma favorably ignored him, finally deciding on a description. Romantic feelings were proving to be an interesting hurdle.

“Huh? That was probably the hydrochloric acid in the gastric juice that breaks down your food. The digestive enzymes split up the proteins and-”.

“Kuroo”.

“Right, sorry. I mean yea, that sounds like jealousy” Kuroo shrugged his shoulders, limply.

“I’m surprised you’ve dated people with how often you crack chemistry facts” Kenma shook his head.

“Hey!” Kuroo interjected. “Chemists do it on the table periodically”.

Kenma threw his hands over his ears.  
“Ugh, stoppp, not the chemistry pick up lines”.

“Ahahah, hey Kenma, Kenma” Kuroo pried at the hands over his head. “If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip those genes”.

“Kuroo” Kenma snapped.

“Kenmaaaa” Kuroo says with three times the vowels and three times the whine.

“This is not helping” Kenma tried to duck away from Kuroo’s outstretched arms as he tried to pull a retreating Kenma closer.

“Just go up to Akaashi and say”. Kuroo paused to let out a small wheeze. “S-say hahaha. Say I must be a diamond because you gave me a hardness of 10”.

“Agh!!!!” Kenma groaned. Kuroo fell backward onto the bed, arms clutched over his stomach and wheezed out laughter.

“Do you have asthma or something? Tell me the second option” Kenma sneered.

“I’m going to call the snark police on you” Kuroo spoke between erratic breathing as his laughter calmed down.

”I will not hesitate to strangle you” Kenma clenched his fists.

“You can’t even reach my neck” Kuroo snorted as he heaved himself back up into a sitting position.

One look at a deadpanned Kenma and Kuroo finally relented with a roll of his eyes.

“Okay fine, fine”. He shuffled closer. “Option two is a good one”.

“I doubt it” Kenma’s brow creased.

“Well, what about-” Kuroo leaned forward to whisper into Kenma’s ear, hand covering the side of his mouth.

Kenma blinked, listening. When Kuroo pulled away, Kenma opened his mouth and then closed it again.

“What do you think?” he questioned.

“You think that’ll work?” Kenma asked with a deadpan expression.

“It’s always fun to try,” Kuroo admitted, eyes sparkling behind a wide smile.

Kenma’s nose wrinkled.  
“Fine”.

Kuroo blinks once, twice, before his grin curls around the side of his face, eyes narrowing.

“This” Kuroo purrs, and he throws an arm around Kenma’s shoulder, hugging him to his side. “This is going to be fun”.

Kenma finds it hard to believe him.

Deep down in his chest, he feels like he’s being surrounded by flames that he himself has lit.

~~~

Akaashi’s life in relation to the morning has always shown signs of strange tendencies. His parents said he was a morning person at an early age. 

Up at the crack of the dawn, eager to start his day off.

Some things had changed after all. In his high school years, he had always slept in and spent many summers where he had never seen the morning. 

He saw the mornings but only if you were talking about the front end of it.

Readjusting to school days where he had to wake up early again were not paired well with staying up late. 

Even after months, it felt like he was still trying to readjust to a schedule, no matter how much sleep he ended up getting.

Daylight would work overtime peeling back his thickened eyelids with the arrival of a new day. 

On this particular day, he had to wake up earlier than usual to catch the bus for the training camp and there were no happy feelings from Akaashi to accompany it.

On his way to his shower, his stomach growled loudly. 

He had the mind to think that perhaps he burnt more calories at night rather than day with all his tossing and turning.

Or at least that was the justification he came up with always being so hungry.

Sleep and food, the two staples of Akaashi’s life that made him able to function throughout the day.

Last night he had gotten no sleep due to talking with Kenma on his phone all of last night. 

This had resulted in him being a little more tardy than usual when getting ready. 

This resulted in him having to miss breakfast, which then resulted in him only just managing to get to school in time to catch the away bus.

Hence he was a little irritated at the lack of rest, the lack of nutrition, and the lack of Bokuto being unable to keep his mouth shut the whole ride as he claimed “Sleep is just like dying but with breakfast at the end!”.

“All in favor of voting Bokuto off the island’ Konoha groaned, slumping down further in his bus seat.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto interrupted, angrily, standing up from the back rows of seats of which he had been inadvertently hogging with his massive body.

“Voting in 1, 2, 3” Konoha shouted.

A wave of hands shot up into the air.

“Akaashi!” Bokuto exclaimed, looking at his raised hand.

“I will always tell you the truth and I accept the danger that comes with that,” Akaashi shrugged.

He ignored the choked outburst that came to follow in turn for looking out the window.

The greens of grass blurred along with the sides of the grey road. 

The blue slowly filled the sky like a felt to a colouring book. Before long, the bus was pulling up in the parking lot of Shinzen highschool.

Bags began to get taken down from their shelves as everyone filed off the bus and into the morning light. 

Akaashi reached up to grab his duffle bag, only to come face to face with Bokuto.

“Yes?” Akaashi cocked an eyebrow, swinging his bag over a shoulder.

“Nothing, nothing” Bokuto sang happily, smiling. He turned on his heel and started towards the entrance.

“I'm just super excited!” Bokuto laughed, taking the steps all at once and leaping to the ground. He whirled around to beam at Akaashi.

“And you must be super excited to see Kenma again!” Bokuto cheered, pumping a fist.

Akaashi’s eyes snapped open. 

He hurried down the rest of the steps, grabbing Bokuto’s shoulder and forcing him to turn and walk forwards.

“You don’t have to speak so loud all the time” Akaashi whispered loudly, eyes darting around to see if anyone else had heard.

“You sound just like Konoha now Akaashi! Take your captain's side for once” he folded his arms, turning his nose up at him with a dramatic flair.

“You and pain in the ass Kuroo belong with each other” Akaashi grumbled.

“Right, Kuroo is here! I have to go find him! Oh god, I have so many new pranks to share with him” Bokuto bit his lip.

“I’ll see you later Kaash!” he waved behind him, already running across the parking lot.

Akaashi had half a heart less to laugh as Bokuto's massive bag bounced behind him, nearly tripping him near the doors of the school.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he followed the rest of his team into the building and towards the room they’d be sleeping in for the next two nights.

And later on, when they were changing to get ready, Akaashi couldn’t help but realize that he was indeed a little more excited than usual.

~~~

When their team steps into the gymnasium, Akaashi’s eyes find Kenma decently fast. 

He’s sat on the ground, legs splayed in front of him, two-toned hair falling over his face.

Kuroo stands behind him, a knee on his back, helping him stretch. 

Kenma’s head snaps to the side, looking peeved as he grits something out. 

Kuroo’s reply is a hearty laugh and to press harder on his back.

Akaashi lets a small smile grace his face before he goes off to stretch with his own team.

When they both line up on either side of the net, Fukurodani is lucky to be versing Nekoma first. Or more like Akaashi feels lucky.

They shout their chants, they throw fists in the air, and when Akaashi takes his place at the front of the net, Kenma is already standing there looking bored.

“Keiji,” he remarked. “Your team is looking rowdy as always”.

“And here I thought you would have something nice to say to me after we stayed up talking late last night” Akaashi tilted his head. “No heartfelt greeting?”.

“You wish” Kenma’s lips ticked into a grin.

The whistle echoed above their heads.

“Good luck,” Kenma’s eyes glinted in the gymnasium light.

“And back at you,” Akaashi said with a cunning tone.

Akaashi had never felt more of a reason to win.

~~~

By afternoon, the sun is a ball of blurry yellow sinking behind the horizon like the broken yolk of an egg.

All the teams have called it quits a while ago with dragged out-breaths and sweaty temples. 

The coaches had sent everyone back to their rooms to get changed and have showers after a good day playing.

Kenma had been feeling a little exhausted under the stream of hot water almost to the point of feeling dizzy, drowning in the layers of steam. 

So after drying his hair he had decided to shove his hands in his sweatpants and take to the outside.

The landscape of Shizens highschool was quite beautiful. 

The trees' leaves were slowly losing their golden leaves to the ground and the dew was setting in quickly on the grass.

Kenma only had to take a few steps out of the door to find somebody crouched down underneath a tree, hands sweeping over the ground.

A head full of curly black hair gave him all the courage to keep on walking.

“Hobby of yours?” Kenma commented.

The head of curly black hair jerked up in surprise, whipping around to look at him. 

Upon seeing Kenma, he let out a heavy breath of relief.

Too relatable.

“Yes, kind of” Akaashi’s eyes went back to the ground. 

A slender hand pushed through a scarce piling of red and orange leaves at the trunk of the tree, fingers pushing and prodding.

“Is the hobby finding tree gnomes?” Kenma crouched down beside him.

“Ah, not exactly” Akaashi chuckled. His fingers pinched at a leaf, observing it with a happy gleam in his eyes.

It was red at the base, colour staining halfway up the leaf until it fell into a gold tip with black strokes. 

He placed it in the pocket of his long cardigan with a hum.

“I just... like them” Akaaxhi chewed on his bottom lip, glancing over the leaves. 

“You know...I’ll be walking home….and I’ll see a leaf or a flower that I really like. I can’t stop myself from just” he winced “taking it, I guess”.

Kenma didn’t speak for a long moment.

“So...what do you do with them all?”.

Akaashi blinked, long eyelashes fluttering over dark teal. He slowly turned to face Kenma, mouth curling into a delighted grin.

~~~

“They're over here. I have to leave them in my bag or they’d probably get kicked around the place” Akaashi stepped over an unmade bed.

Kenma skirted around the strewn blankets, half wondering how they had even gotten like that without anyone even sleeping in them yet and half knowing it was probably Bokuto’s bed.

Akaashi dropped down and sat down on the floor beside a large looking navy duffle bag. 

The zipping sound wiggled through the air as Kenma sat on his heels beside him.

And then two large leather-bound folders were being dropped to the floor, the cover being turned over. 

He flipped the album open to a random page, revealing pages of pressed leaves and flowers.

Kenma stared down at them for long silent seconds, eyebrows raised.

Akaashi cleared his throat, scratching his cheek with warm embarrassment.

“This is my autumn album. I’ve just started it”.

“Just started?” Kenma mused, eyeing the thick stack of pages already full.

Akaashi's cheeks stained pink, eyes blinking rapidly. Kenma couldn’t look away.

“I know it’s stupid. I should have a more fun hobby. Bokuto is always complaining how I never throw myself into volleyball as much as everyone else” Akaashi shrugged a shoulder.

“They’d be wrong,” Kenma muttered, eyes skirting back to the book. 

He turned the page, finger trailing over a red maple leaf.

“They’re quite beautiful,” commented Kenma, leaned over the book to get a better look.

“I like collecting beautiful things,” Akaashi smiled. “I feel like nobody should have them if they’re not going to preserve them well”.

And then Kenma froze as a finger brushed away the locks in front of his face, tucking them behind his ear.

He slowly turned to look at Akaashi who was now sorting through his pockets and dragging out his newfound leaves as if nothing had ever happened.

He had to say something. Anything to get this burning weight off his chest. 

He had never felt so desperate to say something, even though he would be exposing himself.

If only to feel relief for a few seconds before the immense regret. 

It would be enough.

“Keiji” Kenma cleared his throat.

Akaashi paused in his ministrations to look at him.  
“Mhm?”.

“I-”.

“Oh, heyyy! There you guys are! God, talk about finding a needle in a haystack”.

Kenma’s head shot to the side to see Kuroo standing there, arm above his head, leaning against the doorway. 

He wiggled his eyebrows at Kenma, who scowled back almost immediately.

“Ah, Kuroo, is everything alright?” Akaashi asked.

“A-okay” Kuroo formed an ok sign with his hand. “But you better get to the cafeteria or all the food will be gone soon. I have to go find Yaku”.

“Right, thanks” Kenma’s eyes looked at him intensely, hoping he’d get the hint to leave.

Kuroo did not get the hint.

“I mean you have to come now. I know you won’t eat tonight if I don’t make you go now” Kuroo cocked an eyebrow.

“What are you, my mother?” Kenma groaned, pushing himself up from the floor.

“You mean your mother has to deal with this too!?” Kuroo combatted with a grin.

“Are you... coming?” Kenma looked back over his shoulder at Akaashi.

“I’ll just pack up here and then I'll be along in due time,” Akaashi gave a polite smile. 

It didn’t reach his eyes and it had Kenma wondering how he could tell it apart from the real ones so well.

Kenma gave a short nod and then the two of them were closing the door on their way out.

“Sooooo, what was going on there?” Kuroo nudged his shoulder as they began to walk down the hall.

“Keep one eye open tonight” Kenma muttered.

“Oop, guess that’s my cue to leave. I did say I have to go find Yaku so I’ll see you there?”. Kuroo patted his back once. “Awesome, cool see ya!”.

And then he was gone, jogging down the hallway in the opposite direction and leaving Kenma to walk to the cafeteria by himself with a long-drawn-out sigh.

~~~

The cafeteria was filled with only a few strayers, which was way less than he expected. 

Kenma thanked nobody in particular that Kuroo had found them so late.

After gathering a tray of food, he decided to head to a table of red jackets, featuring Lev, Yamoto, and Fukunaga. 

He sat down with his plate and took off his jacket.

“I jumped so high I swear somebody should have had a measuring tape on them at the time-oh hi Kenma- and then I smashed the ball down the floor!” Yamoto slammed a fist on the table.

“That’s awesome!!” Lev gazed on with eyes so bright they could probably be...I don’t know...disco balls. Kenma was tired.

“Anway, where've you been?” Yamoto turned to face Kenma, face inquisitive. “You go off to finish that dungeon level?

“Which dungeon level and which game are you talking about. Be specific” Kenma pushed his food around on his plate with a fork.

He could really go for something sweeter right now.

“I think I saw you go off with Fukurodani’s setter?” Fukunaga tilted his head in question.

“No” Kenma’s eyes fell to his food.

“Yessss?” Fukunaga replied. “My memory is committed to my eyes” he smiled.

“Fukurodani’s setter, huh?” Yamoto stroked his chin.

“Oh, is he that pretty one with the black hair!” Lev directed his question at Kenma, who just stared back.

“Lev!” Yamoto smacked him on the arm. “Ya don’t go around calling guys pretty!”.

“Huh, why not?” big wondering eyes blinked in confusion and skated between the two of them as if seeking an opinion from Kenma too.

“I don’t know. He’d probably consider being manly a better compliment, y’know!” Yamoto flexed a bicep. 

“Don’t go besmirching a guy’s reputation behind his back”.

“Akaashi wouldn’t mind being called pretty,” Kenma commented, popping a fork with a potato on it in his mouth.

“So you were hanging out with him before, eh?” Yamoto scrunched his eyebrows. “Why? Guy might be pretty but he’s got nothing for a personality?”.

Kenma’s hand froze halfway back to his plate. He slowly chewed and swallowed before turning back to him.

“You haven’t even spent time with him” Kenma narrowed his eyes, chest growing tighter.

“I’m not the one saying it! I just hear it around” Yamoto threw up his hands. “I mean come on, standing next to Bokuto- being his setter is probably the best applause Akaashi has ever got”.

Kenma’s fork fell out of his hand and clattered onto the plate.

“And what? Do you think me being a setter to you results in the same thing? Is me tossing to you and to Kuroo and to everyone else the only thing that makes me worth something? Is that all I'm going to amount to?” Kenma gritted out.

“I didn’t say that! You’re different y’know. Why are you sticking up for the other team anyway!” Yamoto straightened his back sitting taller. 

“That’s just wrong Kenma”.

Kenma pushed away from the table standing up. His blood felt hot, rage boiling and rising upwards.

“It’s not about sticking up for another team! It’s about sticking up for another person, teams be damned. Is the only thing you ever think about volleyball!” Kenma shouted.

“We can’t all have our head in the clouds playing video games like you!” Yamoto pushed himself up to stand as well.

Kenma was at his ends wit. 

Blood seemed to be rushing away from his brain because he wasn’t thinking straight. 

Maybe that’s why his fist cocked back and before he knew it was about to punch Yamoto right in his stupid face.

But before it reached impact, a hand stopped it.

“Kenma” Fukunaga had a hand on his shoulder, another around his wrist. Kenma turned to look at him with gritted teeth.

Fukunaga shook his head and Kenma’s tension faded, arm relaxing. 

His eyes turned to scan the cafeteria, relief filling him over the fact that it was empty aside from a worried-looking Lev.

Suddenly a body came into view at the cafeteria’s doorway.

“Hey, what’s going on!?” Kuroo's eyebrows were drawn in confusion as he looked around.

Kenma’s heart was picking up; and it was picking up fast.

Kenma shook his fist away from Fukunaga’s hold, grabbed his jacket, and then he was speed walking towards the exit with his head down.

“Kenma?” Kuroo asked as he brushed past him, not a word spoken.

“Kenma!” he called out from behind him.

But Kenma was far gone and he didn't look back.

All he could think was…

Thankgod Akaashi didn’t see that….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the never coming updates :') I'm in the midst of moving. A lot of life events preventing me form writing aha.


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